Farting Is Back With A Bang. Bodily Function Or Art Form? Watch Celebrity Fart Video's And Decide!
81Farting In Art History
Fart Video Women Are So Competative.
Mechanical Aides For The Unwindy
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Back With A Bang
On Flatulence, Flatus, Flatulent, Farting. is a natural bodily function performed by all living things in one form or another.
Humans are the only species so far, that have raised this bodily function to an art-form.
Farting in humans comes in two sonic types.
Silent or alternatively producing a loud report of varying degrees of decibels.
Loud but unlikely to cause ear damage.
OK let's get all the funnies out of the way first.
Slang Names for flatulence.
Back With A Bang Burp
Back End Burp
Backwards Burp
Bottom Burp
Back Bang
NB 'Back With A Bang' (is apparently trending on twitter?)
Back Door Bank
Big Bang Is Back
Air Biscuit, the floating thereof
Squeeze cheese
Cut the mustard
Crack one off
Gas
Let rip
Break wind
Who guffed? variants include; chuffed, huffed, puffed and of course the world famous fluffed.
Parft to denote the sound of the report
Let it rattle. As in the rhyme.
'Wherever you be let your wind blow free, In church or chapel let rattle'
Blow off
Bit windy
Sometimes animals are blamed or used as a deflector with a qualifying question.
Where's them ducks ?
Where's that frog ?
Phew! Is that the dog ?
The dogs are barking ?
On A Theme
Trump
Trumpet
Trumpet Solo
Trumpet Voluntary
Trumping
Trumpington.
Bargain Basement Devices
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Fart Video Trend Setters
Fart Video Minor Celebrities Getting In On The Act
Fart Video Life's A Gas With Mr. Methane!
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Bodily Function Fuel Source?
Farting performs an important function in the body, as it allows the release of trapped gases, that are created by the decomposition of food and drink in the stomach.
If it were not for this bodily function; we would be full of gas. Not a pleasant thought.
Smelly farts can come about based on what we eat.
The more decomposition the more gas. Onions for example.
The only other way out would be via the mouth.
Now you can have bad breath but, would you want the gas that escapes from your butt coming out of your mouth?
A forward burp of this nature, may not only be socially quite embarrassing, but potentially flammable.
Paula lets rip on X Factor.
The smell occurs, due to a mixture of gases, including.
Methane,(flammable) Hydrogen, Hydrogen Sulphide (rotten egg fart smell) Carbon Dioxide, Nitrogen and Oxygen.
The methane can be ignited, (pyroflatulence) producing a blue flame.
This should not be attempted by an untrained person.
Gas Finance
Getting Methane out of the ground is an expensive business.
We produce about 2 liters of gas per 24 hours, usual at night when we are relaxed, and in beds asleep.
If the average family had a method of capturing this wasted fuel source. Think of the possibilities?
We could probably be self sufficient in gas, for cooking and heating. If you have a large family you could even run the family car!
The oil rich countries that we rely on, would be shaking in their boots.
Alternative Urban Mining
There are easier Methane deposits that we do use, it is trapped in the old landfill sites, all over the country.
There is a large landfill site to the east of London, at Beckton. It is just down the road from the new Business & Finance district of Canary Wharf, and next door to the City Airport.
You know when you are 'passing' through because of the 'Beckton Pong'! It really stinks!
This 'free' methane resource is tapped, and sold to the local power station and recycling plants.
Having trapped wind can be extremely painful.
It is not uncommon for people to arrive at the emergency room; complaining of extreme stomach pain, only for the doctor or nurse; to insert a finger and release the pent up gas.
To the relief and embarrassment of the sufferer.
We Are Not Amused... Harry Is.
Scene Of The Royal Report Buckingham Palace
Buckingham Palace,London UK - Fart Video French Fartist Le Petomaine
Social Class And Farting
Social Class. The Etiquette
Farting in public, even in front of the Queen has always been acceptable, as long as 'you' do not draw attention to the release.
In polite society the form, is to ignore the noxious whiff and just hope that is passes away quickly.
Some people will leave the room to fart.
Or even raise their arse from their bath water.
Even Celebrities are taking public farting seriously, as a way to connect to the masses
The Social Divide
Amongst certain groups of people. We no longer call them; the lower classes as this is not politically correct.
Farting etiquette is totally different and a great source of amusement with offenders bragging; with comments like 'better out, than in' and 'Whoa! There was something behind that one'.
Great pride is taken in producing as loud a report as possible.
In fact as recent as 1945 during the golden age of variety theater, one could go and watch internationally famous performers showing their farting prowess.
Joseph Pujol 1857 – 1945 stage name Le Pétomane
The world famous French flatulist (professional farter) performer and entertainer made a whole career from his business end.
He could fart at will, and produce a wide variety of popular tunes. This was due to a remarkable control of his stomach muscles.
I hope this has been useful and amusing for you. This usually misunderstood and much maligned bodily function, farting is perfectly normal and should be celebrated.
If you enjoyed Farting Is Back With A Bang. Share it with your friends. I'm sure they will like it too Thanks.
Support Groups
- Fart Problem
I am 26/M and passing through a problem. I suffer from flatulence and have to fart frequently. I hve to fart 50-60 times daily and that is quite loud but rarely stinky. Its very embarrassing but I cannot help it. Strict dieting and excercise didn't h - Fart - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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Just read Kelly's, Realhousewife's, hilarious and informative Dress Code hub. Perfect match for the share!
Hello lauragt,
'The Gas We Pass' sounds like a great read for the bathroom lol
Glad it gave you a laugh, thanks for leaving your contribution. lol
Love it! My kids favorite book is: The Gas We Pass. It would be nice if everyone had a more light-hearted approach to this topic! Thanks for sharing.
Hello Horatio,
Traffed Hmm! another great and unique addition to the farting hall of fame.
Thank you for the detailed description of said Traf! much appreciated.lol
The backwards version would be interesting to observe. ha ha!
I think I will include it in the 3rd edition of the addendum of the appendix.
Suitable accredited of course.lol!
Hello babithababa,
You say it is dirty, I do not think you are farting? that is something else lol.
Though dirty subject , the science was quiet new to me .So thanks .
Haha! Great hub Michael. I still use the old schoolboy term "Traffed", traf being fart backwards. As long as you don't really fart backwards!
Good stuff.
Hello Femme,
It has given so many people such a giggle.
I have a curious feeling, that a few more people will get to read it too! lol
We all have fabulous farting stories to share lol
Michael,
I meant in the comment that I was thankful to be the very LAST reader on the WWW, lol!!
Seems my eyes were tearing so much with giggles, I skipped making a typo and left out and entire word!
:)
femme
Hello Nell,
lol stop farting about! that cracked me up.
Glad it tickled you too.
Those celebs are human too it seems? lol
Hi billybuc,
Good to hear that you spent your time at college productively lol producing gas! and lighting it lol. Classic.
Thanks for sharing lol
Oh my God! this is hilarious! haha! I couldn't stop laughing, and those videos! Its one of those questions answered! do celebs fart on national tv? lol! the funny thing was I was laughing so much, then my pc got stuck and I said without thinking, Oh you stupid thing, stop farting about! hee hee! loved it!
My friend this may be the funniest hub I have read while at Hubpages. In fact I officially declare it to be so. I do believe I need to share this with all who form my little kingdom. FYI...we used to light them in college and found that particular act hilarious! I am not ashamed of that; in fact I am rather proud of it. :) Great hub!
Hi Lilleyth,
Farting is definitely back with a bang! lol glad you liked it.
Hello Isadora,
Glad it made you laugh.
It tickles me pink every time I get a new comment on farting.
Hi Femme,
Thanks for coming over and sniffing around this hub lol.
It has been so great hearing everyone's comments and funny stories.
I assume that you managed to avoid shorting out your laptop lol
Hi TENKAY,
Lucky the office was empty lol. No pets to blame! lol
Thanks for sharing
Hi Faithful Daughter,
Silent but lingering!
These are the ones that take everyone by surprise!
The offender has left us something to remember them by lol
lol Hi Tammy,
You said fart too! lol
LOL Rusticliving,
That image is so clear in my mind now.
Your poor monitor. Sorry, glad it made you laugh, lol
You Brits have the most marvelous sense of humor.
lol! Funny hub.
Michael,
Words fail to express how absolutely happy I am to be the very reader on the entire world wide web, to make it to this Hub, and the comments section. (Grin!)
I'm equally at a loss on what exactly to say about it.
I have a feeling, if the Royals ever see this, you'll no longer be allowed to play on the palace grounds.
I uhmm .... wow .... I'm still reeling how you took such a subject as this, and put it together with such flair and ... and ... artful expertise?
Pardon me, I must run for tissue. I've been choking back the laughter to the point that my eyes are streaming with tears, which are now dripping from my chin and will surely short out my laptop if I don't dry up the mess.
femme
Thanks Justin,
I like to 'pop' in here, when I need a giggle. lol
Thanks for SHARING.
Oh my God, you are all so funny, the hub and the comments. It's good I am alone in the office, I just farted, caused by too much laughter.
molometer, I love you. hahaha.
Thanks for the laughter.
Will share this in my redgage.com account.
I didn't think a hub on stinky wind could be so informative.
I have been around loud ones and soft, barely audible, ones. It's those quiet ones that I'm afraid to be around because of the smell that follows and lingers on for a long time refusing to leave the area.
What really amazes me is when people leave the area immediately after they let one out, as if "it" would follow them out and no one would know who done it. Duh?
Tee hee... you said fart. After raising three sons, I am no longer prudish about these things. I love your sense of humor. LOL!
LOL..ok... now I will only admit this to my family... As I was reading this... I laughed so hard I spewed my tea all over the monitor, farting at the same time.. thank God the dog was here to blame! Thank you for a wonderful laugh! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to locate the air freshner and the vanilla/lavender candle. :p
Michael... coming back to share this
Hello AEvans,
Every time I get a comment on this page it makes me smile from ear to ear. Because I know what's coming lol.
So happy that it gave you a great giggle. Even though I wrote it, it still tickles me when people tell their stories too. Thanks for sharing lol
LOLOLOLOLO! I read this out loud and laughed so hard! Could you imagine standing with the Queen when the sound off happens? lololo! Here in the U.S. I remember a person who passed wind in the Isle and then ran around the corner. OMG! She acted as if she did not do it! lolololo! That smell floated through multiple isles! lololo Thumbs Up! :)
Hi iamaudraleigh,
I said it all! lol
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
molometer - I heard a normal healthy adult can fart upto 14 a day. PU! Funny - enjoyed reading. Not so nice when it is a medical problem - I would rather hickup!
Hi Born2care2001,
Ha ha every time I get a comment on this hub it really makes me lol.
Everyone has a story and I will add your term 'flatuetic' to the growing compendium that is all things fart related lol.
I am honoured to be in your top 10 classic list.
Glad you enjoyed it.
Michael, Michael, Michael,
You, my friend, are a stitch! If you had asked me a couple of days ago if the first hub I would read of yours would be of the flatuetic (please include my new word for stinky prose eloquently stated) I would have said you are nuts.
But you know what? This was very creative, very well done and oh so interesting, not to mention quite gutsy!
When someone says they are considering sharing it with their fourth grade class, I think you have something there!
You've just made history and will go down on my classic top 10 List!
Ha ha Susan thanks for the rhyming couplet. Added to the list.
LOL what a smelly hub:) I have to share this little rhyme with you that one of sons friends used to say all the time...
There's a skunk in the garden pee yew
Somebody farted
That's you.
Enjoyed your fun hub....
justateacher lol you didn't lol you did ha ha. Why not?
Do you know the rhyme
Wherever you be
let your wind blow free
In church or chapel
let it rattle
Share that with you students lol
Thanks for making my day.
@AudreyHowitt Thank you for commenting.
@Xenonlit Thank you for commenting.
@vasantha T k Thank you for commenting and voting up too.
Hi cardelean,
As one educator to another. Show your 4th graders this hub and they will love you forever.
Enjoy. I can hear the shrieks already lol
Sunnie Day your Dad sounds like a real character. Pull my finger lol
Hi Ruchira,
Thank you for your lovely comments. A fine accolade indeed to be the funniest hub you have ever read. I am so proud of that.
Share it with your friends and watch their faces lol it gets funnier.
Hi justin,
Sounds like your Dad knew a thing or two lol Glad it gave you a chuckle.
Interesting and funny hub .Enjoyed it voted up.
My daughter's dog runs away whenever someone farts...she was in the same bed as my hubby too many times...
Larry The Cable Guy talks about his grandma and her "walking farts - every time she takes a step she farts!" I thought this was hilarious - until it started happening to me - in a class of students from third to fifth grade....
I bow to your greatness and laugh out loud! FUNNY and awesome.
I know some who should be professional farters!! FUNNY hub!!
I seriously think that I'm going to share this hub with my fourth grade class. We have gas with a blast daily (actually several times a day) in my class. Very entertaining hub!
Oh my...well to be truthful I have never!...I mean it is the dog..my chair..or the something in the air..but NEVER ME!!!! hahaha Seems like there is alot of hot air floating around..may need to change the diet abit..My dad was crude..old military guy...Pull my finger..fell for it every time..lol
Funny Hub!
Sunnie
Hi molometer,
This is the funniest hub I have ever read...sure, it is a natural phenomenon amongst all living species but, humans have made a lot about it...lol
the videos were hilarious.
voted up as funny!
there's nothing quite so odd and relieving as letting a big one rip and feeling the instant relief or the fear in needing to check your underbritches, just in case.)
When I was a kid, if I let out a really good one, my dad would say "Whooeee" Something must have crawled up you and died!"
ROFL WD Curry 111
Battalion . . . attennnntion! Phttttht!
Hello jacqui2011,
I think your mother in law's bottom burps, at 86, may have another explanation, rather than a loss of a sense of smell.
She probably feels she has earned the right. 'to let her wind blow free' I must agree lol
Hello Cammiebar,
That sounds hysterical, I'll have to look it up. Thanks.
Hi WD Curry 111,
ROFL the annuls of history. I like the idea of cracking one of in military school.
Stiff upper lip and all that! lol
I learned some history too
'Chief Joseph (Nez Pierce) had a brother, Olikut (great war chief), who cranked off a beauty during their surrender ceremonies to the US Army'
I had no idea? lol
Thanks for the awesome GoodLady, I never had an awesome for a fart before RAOTFL.
Your son sounds like a master of the farts and hope his girlfriend lets him share his talents with the world.
Stick it on youtube!
Hello mljdgulley354,
I can see a bright future for your grandson. It is a rare talent. That poor dog lol you did make me laugh with the walking fart lol.
Thanks for brightening up an otherwise dull Saturday afternoon. So funny. My mother in law is 86 and does many bottom burps when she gets up out of the chair. She doesn't know she is doing it half the time and I try not to laugh. I think old age must have affected her sense of smell, unfortunately mine is still intact! Voted up and very funny.
If you find an old copy of the Merrick Medical Dictionary and look up the word "Flatulence", you will find that the dictionary actually discusses the different types of farts--for example, the "slider". I'm serious. It's hilarious!
I see this is a popular subject around here. Personally, I think the subject stinks.
I went to military school for my secondary education. We trained the "Barking Spider". It was truly an art form and often punctuated rambling speeches by administrators. We perfected the skills required to flame up without the repercussions of a "suck back". It is no game for the uninitiated to play.
Chief Joseph (Nez Pierce) had a brother, Olikut (great war chief), who cranked off a beauty during their surrender ceremonies to the US Army. Actually, he cranked off several good ones at appropriate times during the speech of the victorious general. He saved the coup de grass for the summation. It was such a beauty, that it is still heard today in the annuls of history.
My eldest son had elaborate farting performances down to a tee (?) and we could never persuade him that they wouldn't get him anywhere in life!
Yet his grand enthusiasms for things like that propelled him into great success. ("Social skills are one of the 7 recognized skills" his headmaster assured us.)
His girlfriend has somehow put a stop to them, well to the fun performances of them. You can understand why.
Great Hub. There's nothing like a farting story to get you rolling.
Gets an 'awesome'!
molometer this was to funny. I have a grandson that is able to fart at will. He makes fun of grandma when she has the "walking farts". It is embarrassing though when you are in a study group, get up to walk to the blackboard and one of those silent and long ones slip out. I was glad there was a dog in the room and its owner really thought he was the guilty culprit. I didn't have to own up to that one.
Hi alocsin,
Everytime I want to have a giggle, I read this hub. It made me laugh when I wrote it. It just gets funnier the more comments it gets.lol
Glad you liked it and for SHARING.
What a fun hub about a common past-time. The list of synonyms is especially interesting. Voting this Up and Funny. Thanks for SHARING.
Hi Brett,
Elegant for sure. All the best solutions are simply and elegant.
It is a great way to find like minded people.
I had been following some and intend to follow some more.
My views have increased by at least 20% and I haven't really been that active. Maybe sharing 5 to 10 peoples hubs a day, that's all. Have you a figure in mind?
I still only share hubs I like, just more often. makes perfect sense to me.
We never know when people are online. It could be argued that we should be sharing continuously. Who knows how many sets of eyeballs we miss daily?
Well done and thanks for SHARING
Hey Molometer,
'Elegant Solution' eh, why thank you! lol.
I just removed EVERYTHING that could be considered 'personal promotion' - I think it was mainly because I asked people to comment to create the 'club'.
Anyway, I'm glad that the SHARING culture can continue, as it helps so many get more readers!
Hi Brett,
I read about the hoopla today on your hub.
Do You Like to Share? Let's Help Everyone Get More Readers!
It is such an elegant solution and I wondered why the hub lords would get involved. Its just sharing in a more proactive way.
What's the harm? Some people are just 'full of gas' to get back on topic lol
Thanks for SHARING and thinking it up.
This made me laugh so much the first time that I just wanted to come back and SHARE it with my followers.
P.S. The SHARING CLUB is now back online under "Do You Like to Share? Let's Help Everyone Get More Readers!". It had to be re-written from a social aspect, but still includes all original and new comments.
Yes you're right with the sweating thing. Us ladies "glow" when slightly over heated! Lol
Hello Soulunique,
Glad you liked it. It is becoming a compendium of everything Flatus lol
I will have to add 'bottie cough' and 'thunder clap' to the ever growing farting list lol
Or sweat either ha ha
I loved this hub. Made me chuckle. Two of my favourite terms for a trump is "bottie cough" and "thunder clap" haha.
Amusing read Molometer. Your hubs are great!! You forgot to mention that Ladies do not have this bodily function!! Haha
I bet everyone is glad to see the back of Christmas, with all that extra gas from the Brussels sprouts. Farting can return to normal levels lol.
Hi seeker7,
every time I read a new comment on this farting hub about some new insight into farts around the world I fall about laughing. It's back with a bang alright and the dog looking to see where it came from had me in stitches.
The vision of you holding it in at the bus stop is priceless PMSL.
Fart you know it makes sense lol
LMAO!!!!! This was brilliant!! There is nothing worse than standing in line waiting for a bus and you just know a 'ripper' is on the way out! I hold my arse so tight and pray 'stay in, stay in, at least until the bus reves up or something!' I've held my arse in so tight that I had muscle stiffness the next morning in both cheeks!
I was also reading a hub about the benefits of having pets with another hubber and having a laugh about the things they do. Dogs are not too sure about what a 'fart' is. When it rips out of them, they always look at their bottom so see what it was. One of mine, when he was a pup, use to chase his bum in circles trying to find out where the noise came from!! We love our dogs to bits, but I'm afraid if anyone does let rip, then we tend to blame them!!LOL!!
Brilliant hub + voted up awesome + funny!!
Farting Is Back With A Bang. The Royals And Even Politicians Do It
I was just re-reading the comments on this hub and laughing my head off on my own in my lounge and noticed that I had completely missed quite a few gems of comments out. Ready for a giggle?
This shout goes out to JSMatthews childs comment about his silent but deadly farts.
Are you ready... ASS GHOST!
Hi htodd,
Glad you liked it. We all need a good giggle now and then.
Hi Paul Kuehn,
pyroflatulence is a very 'pop'ular pastime in college. Maybe we should start a league lol
Great post...Thanks a lot
This is a really great hilarious hub. I don't mind people who fart as long as they don't do it in a car with the windows shut. When I was in college, I remember my dormitory mates lighting farts.
Hi Pwalker,
I too cannot believe that she would do such a thing? but hey she is human too. lol I love Paula and I think she would get a blast out of this. Don't ya think? lol
Did Paula Abdul actually have the nerve to get up off her seat and let one rip!?! And act as if nothing happened? I wonder what her table mates were thinking. Enjoyed reading this one, rated up, (very) funny, and interesting, too!
I hadn't noticed Alydar until you mentioned it.
I literally burst out laughing at the adds placed alongside this.
The advert machine must have had an embolism trying to work out what adds to put beside this hub lol
Well spotted. ha ha
Hi Jami, well you know that when we laugh we sometimes get a report from the other end too. lol
How did you contain yourself in public lol
Hello everyone,
I am overwhelmed by your flatulent outbursts and feel humbled by your honesty.
I feel like Oprah on Hiatus or is that flatus lol
Glad you all enjoyed a good guffaw from what ever end it came from.
Keep up the good work and our wind will lift us all up.
I see from my anal-ytic's that her majesty has read this too. lol That Prince Phillip is such a card, don't you think?
I fart when I get nervous and don't care where I am to let it rip. It is a natural thing. so be it. Thanks for sharing.
you smell that?!? HAHAHA! it wasnt me !? it was the dog !! lmbo!! I loved this so much i voted it up all the way across the board and beautiful , hahahaha! :) thanks for the ... laugh ! haha! you thought i was gonna say fart huh?! lol:) have a great night!:)
Love this hub! It seriously made me smile. I love fart humor like this, so the videos were an added win. xD
Omg! I love it! I read on Yahoo a couple of months ago a state here in the USA(cant remember which one) was actually petitioning to fine people for farting in public!(Dunno where they plan to go with that..what evidence is there to proove one guilty..fresh skidmarks in your underdinks upon arrest?!)
btw, got another laugh watching what ads google posted with your article:D
I read this on my phone (Android) via Twitter. I am glad I found it again on my HubFeed so that I can comment! I have to admit, I pass gas. Sorry! Sometimes it pisses off my people (sorry for the language). I was trying to think of a new phrase for passing gas, and my kids agreed that "Ass Ghost" was appropriate for the "Silent But Deadly" (SBD) ones. I thought it was funny. Anyway, I enjoyed reading this and I am still trying to think of different phrases to embrace the art of gaseous expulsion, due to Respiration, resulting in Flatulence. I appreciate how you brought out the truth that everyone farts, even the Royals. Amen to stomach stability.
JSMatthew~
Thanks for the laugh. It was greatly appreciated. If only we humans could realize that in the end we are really very much alike.
omg...I totally had to come back to this hub and get a good laugh again. I'm sitting here on the couch watching the little video clips and literally laughing out loud. My family thinks I'm nuts...but I love it!!! (how sophomoric...lol) :)
Hi Primpo, I couldn't have put it better myself lol.
thats too funny when you put it in that perspective.. lol great hub
This reminds me of the older couple in bed having a farting competition they were both doing very well but one of them let loose and called a half time to propose a switch of sides. I'm guessing marriage really is about sharing.
Hi waynet,
I am sure it does in some countries lol
Lol I'm sure crack one off means something else lol!
Hello Amber,
Always blame the dog, that's a rule written down somewhere lol.
I'm happy I made you smile:)
Hi Micheal
This hub made me smile and think about the Dudley Moore film 10 - when Grandma farts and the dog yelps and runs away because he always gets the blame!!
Amber:)
Hi thoughtforce,
I wanted to give everyone a giggle before thanksgiving and the Xmas madness, and as many of my hubs tend to be rather serious I thought I'd do something light and fluffy lol
I think I may do more like this, it was fun.
Thanks Tina
What a fun hub! It is a bit odd though that something that is a normal body function should be so embarrassing. But it is, and everything that is embarrassing are also very funny! Great and unusual hub, voted up, funny
Tina
Hi Rachelle, I think you will find we have documentary (pictures) evidence of the Royal Guffaws lol
But you know sometimes even if you have a picture of someone farting they will deny it. ha ha
What say ye? You know that Royals do not fart.
ROFL I thought you were going to say
'and guess what I married that cutie' that would have been a gas!
I suppose I just can't help myself and try to teach something at every opportunity.
As you know 'teachers are born that way' I just can't help myself, it's in the genes lol
Happy turkey day after lol
I had a good laugh with this hub molometer. Only you could combine comedy and great information about farting. In college I had just started dating this cutie pie. He was building my bed in the dorms. At one point as his butt was pointing towards me, out came a loud fart. The poor guy was so embarrassed. He turned red but never said a word about it and neither did I. LOL
By the way, check out my latest Thanksgiving hub as I mention you. Happy Thanksgiving molometer and thanks for your support and friendship here. Your awesome!
Glad to be of assistance, there is nothing like a good guffaw from either end lol
Too damn funny!! Great hub. I actually laughed out loud when I read this one. THANKS!!! I needed a pick me up today. :)
Billy is the man, I am a great fan of the big Yin. Must look it up.
Have you ever watched Billy Connoly? His take on farting will have you rolling on the floor with laughter
Rosemay!,
Ladies don't fart! Do they?
The popping walking fart had me rolling about, so funny.
This was a gas.
A fun hub and laughed all the way through
Laughed at the pics of the royals, the Queen is pretending she doesn't know the others. Lol
I think the funniest is the repetative one that pops with each step you take. they just seem to go on forever. Lol
Hi barbergirl,
Glad it gave you a guilt free laugh lol
Hi rlaha,
Hubert and justom are real characters aren't they. They are two of my favorite writers too.
Hi Jen,
Hope I didn't make you splutter over your coffee ha ha.
Hello aruso,
How could I have missed the world famous 'fluff' thanks.
gross, but great hub! My husband used to call farts a "fluff"..
Hubertsvoice-haaaaa!! How did you know I could take my teeth out? Hilarious!!
Your list of ways to say it are too funny! What a great hub to read in the morning!! Thanks once again for your wit and charm
I am still laughing at justtom and Hubertsvoice! Haha!
I am guitly - I have laughed at farts... However, only you have made them truly entertaining! :)
Justom keeping it real lol
Justom, in the elevator. just take out your teeth, smile real big, eyes opened wide and let 'er rip loudly. Great fun! Great fun! This might not be a good thing to do if you are on a high fiber diet, though.
Hilarious hub, when I do it and folks are nearby I simply say "I just shit my pants". Ever been in an elevator when someone lets one go? Everyone looks at each other and there's no where to run. Peace!! Tom
Be careful of those blasts while writing.
There may be something else inside, lurking, hiding.
Yes indeed it made me chuckle,
I laughed so hard I broke a buckle.
lol hello Hubert,
Farticle. love it and in rhyme
nice one Hubert did it make you chuckle.
I had a 'blast' writing it lol
When I was young and let one pop
I had to laugh and couldn't stop.
Now, since I have aged,
A special walk must be staged.
Afraid that something else might drop.
Nice farticle Mike You knew that I would have to respond once I read this.
Hello Dexter,
I am a man of many passions.
I rant hard and fight mine and my friends corner.
I love life in all it's absurdities and beauty.
There is nothing as uplifting as laughter shared with friends.
I am so happy that it tickled your ribs as that was the plan.
Wait until you see whats getting published later you'll freak. I'll give you a hint. (The dismal science) then you'll know why I had to have a laugh.
Happy sad two sides same coin. lol I'm sounding full of wind lol
Hi Molometer! To go from a subject on teaching to the illustrious passing of gas...well!! Ha ha ha!! This was so much fun to read! Great, just great!
@xenolight,
The image in my mind that you have described is hysterical.
The panic! lol
@nikashi,
I can just imaging the scene and it did make me laugh.
In Church or chapel let it rattle lol.
It is worst of all when you are in a situation where cracking up is deadlier than farting. Something has to give, and it will either be the methane or the guffaw. We are only human.
Perfect flatus hub...really fun read. It reminds me of an occasion when I went to a church to listen to Mass and for a brief minute, complete silence except the very loud explosion of resonating gas, silent laugher spread like wildfire. Thanks for laugh.
Well what can I say guys,
you have all had me cracking up.
I have visions in my head now, that will never leave.
The memories and experiences are hysterical and we have all been there.
The dreaded follow through to the high jinks of exploding methane with friends add to the rich tapestry of life.
I'm with MM on this one 'let's celebrate' our bottom burps.
Pyroflatulence maybe we should tap into this unused energy resource. lol
Very funny! It does make one wonder why certain bodily functions cause hysterical laughter... Thanks for the giggles!
My grandson says burbs come the attic and farts come from the cellar. He gave himself a bellyache laughing over his genius.
Uh oh, the Queen is not amused. Rather without reaction at all. I have the feeling that getting a reaction out of her would take Houdini. I love the breath of "fresh air" that young royalty brings to the table. Its a gas!
I loved the photo of the royal family. It reminded me of my grandfather and that granddads are the same everywhere. Prince Harry's reaction was priceless. I laughed my butt off.
Thanks, Molometer. Great article.
LOL! This shout-out to farting is a total gas!! I didn't know that happened to Paula Abdul but when Nancy Grace let one loose on Dancing With The Stars the media made sure we all heard about many, many times! Voted UP!!
...and should be celebrated' that is so, so funny!
What a great fun hub, I loved it!
Voting up
ROFL my arse off. Did I slip one, I hope not. god I can remember pulling that stunt with some drinking buddies at a party. We all wanted to see who's arse would get singed the quickest, man that flame can sure shoot across the room depending on the speed and abundance of gas being released from the arse. LoL...this was a riot, loved the video of Paula and the pic of Prince Phillip..no one is beyond a good Fart now and then, feels great, except for the nausea of gases that sometimes follow. LoL
Great hub, really funny, made me laugh. I once worked with someone who farted at work and followed through whilst wearing tight white trousers; you don't forget moments like that in a hurry. Still makes me laugh today when I think of it. Voted up.
Hello Riaha,
I am so happy that you enjoyed it. It was fun to write too.
The Royal pictures are hysterical.
Haha! This was a hilarious post! Thanks for making my day!
Glad I tickled your fancy lol
Hahaha! The wacky Royal picture caught my eye, i saw this hub in my feed while scrolling and i couldnt help reading the whole hub! Thumbs up! :)
Hi Brett,
I was inspired lol. I was in hysterics writing this hub. It's just such a funny subject and it's still making me laugh reading the comments.
I thought the same thing about the hazards of smoking too, and the potential to burst into flames. ha ha.
Welcome to my world lol
What the hell inspired this!? Ha ha, an insight into the mind of Molometer for sure.
The line "A forward burp of this nature may not only be socially quite embarrassing but potentially flammable." made me laugh ... and it would sure cure the habit of smoking fast!! lol
Ha ha, you do make me laugh.
Glad you enjoyed it.
Ah! the advantages of age. lol
I was roaring with laughter (no expulsion of gases) but funny nonetheless.
As you can see it sparked many a gaseous memory!
Hello Mrs MK,
You are very brave, I wondered who would be the first to comment on this hub. Might have guessed It would be you.
Did it make you laugh as I was in stitches writing it.lol
What about laughing, coughing and sneezing and accidentally letting one slip? Those are the funniest as there's no guilt!
Not speaking from experience ;-) however old age will creep up on us all one day.
Have you every been in the presence of an OAP when they let rip but maintain the flow of conversation blissfully unaware of the loud expulsion of bodily gases. I have :-(( my life will never be the same.
molometer Hub Author 4 weeks ago
Thanks Alastar,
I'll check it out toot sweet! lol