Sanity Clause Is What? Definitely Not Another Story About Christmas.
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The Gift Ritual...Presents!
Every year the same dread and foreboding.
Am I just like scrooge?
Why does the marketing hype get to me; so much more at this time of year.
I try to fight with all my rational being and still I get sucked into the ritualistic gift giving bonanza that retail business's rely on annually.
The Gift Ritual in sociological terms has been much studied and well documented.
It has deep psychological meanings and is used by many societies as a bonding ritual and also as a form of control, involving a wide range of human characteristics including, who has the most muscle in terms of finance, to who couldn't give a fiddlers fart about you.
These can be expressed in 'who gave the most expensive gift, the least thoughtful gift'. etc In fact it can become a real minefield of emotions.
There are certain island living tribal peoples who solved the problem of having no department store nearby by giving each other stones annually.
These simple, elegant solution removes all peer pressure, as everyone in in the same position.
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Next Christmas Check Your Sanity Clause
The stones were passed around and after a few years you probably got your own stone back again. It solves a problem in which everyone can give equally and no-one loses face.
I mention this isolated island example as it indicates that there is something going on here that has nothing to do with marketing and everything to do with social cohesion.
Psychologically there is a delicate balance between giver and receiver.
The receiver, is allowing the giver, the privilege of thinking about a gift for them. Which they can accept graciously. The giver is in the powerful position of deciding, which gift to give.
A deliberately ill considered gift can cause offense. This of course may be the desired effect or alternatively. The giving of a gift that financially cannot be reciprocated, can be interpreted as a form of economic dominance, and therefore quite abusive.
When Coke Time Meant Something Else
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Told You It Was Definitely Not Another Story About Christmas!
What are we to make of all this?
The giver gets a payoff because it makes us feel good to give something to someone, so isn't that a selfish act?
The receiver may not be in a financial position to reciprocate and so may feel pressure and develop a resentment towards the giver?
Complicated isn't it?
Maybe you feel obligated to give a gift. Then you feel annoyed, that you have let your emotions get the better of you.
What a nightmare, no wonder rates of suicide and divorce increase dramatically over the Christmas holidays. Shocking but true.
What if you are out of work? and cannot give anything to anyone. Isn't the problem just multiplied.
Maybe we should reconsider this whole time of the year and let those that want to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ so so in peace and dump all the rest of it.
What do you do want for your birthday?
The Christmas Contract Needs The Marx Brothers Treatment
Sanity Clause Is What Then?
If you liked this attempt to get a little sanity clause into our thinking. Thank the Marx brothers for inspiring it..
Think of it as a non Christmas present from me to you. Priceless.
Sanity Clause is definitely not another story about Christmas.
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This is so true. Finding presents can sometimes be so hard, especially for someone who has more money and has everything. We give very few presents anymore and many are very simple. I made homemade jams and dried fruit for everyone this year. Great hub!
Hello ishwaryaa22 and seasons greetings to you too.
I am glad you found the tribal ideas interesting. Sometimes we have to go backwards in order to go forwards.
These islanders solved a tricky problem with what they had to hand. Very sensible too.
Wishing you a healthy and prosperous New Year.
Your Hub is very wise and inspiring with a dash of humour! Your portrayal of Tribal idea of stone is very unique! Vote up.
A warm Christmas to U & ur family!
Hello amymarie_5,
It is weird isn't it. The season of good will, usually brings out the worst aspects; in some people.
It is largely to do with these expectations of gift giving.
Sounds like you and your friends have made a very sensible arrangement.
I am going to start a rock and stone business.
Everyone gets a pebble, with a sanity clause contract lol
My close girlfriends are amazing. We don't exchange christmas gifts. Ever. Thats probably why we've all stayed friends since high school. No pressure, nobody gets offended and no drama. I just have everyone else to worry about offending. lol. I like the stone idea.
Hi Brett.
Merry fishpaste to you and yours lol.
I know the feeling. Sitting in 30 degree heat looking a t a roast turkey just doesn't work.
We did it one year and then abandoned the whole idea in favor of a salad at the beach.
In Cape Town they have Xmas in July which at least feels cooler.
Now we are back in the UK, we are amazed by the collective insanity at this time of year. Hence the hub. Sanity Clause definitely not another story about Christmas.
Glad you liked it and thanks for the votes. Have a great year Brett.
Merry Christmas! Voted up. awesome, funny and interesting.
I gave up on it all a while back. I still get close family a gift, and my partner of course, then the rest of us (locally) just head to the beach Christmas eve for a BBQ and drinks ... fun times and no pressure! Much better :-)
Hello Phdast7 and seasons greeting to you,
What a brilliant plan your family has made. By limiting the $ value really focus' the mind, to find something unique.
We are going for only hand made items from this year. Crafting is the new Gucci lol
Have a great holiday and thanks for the lovely presents.
You just received four "presents from me. :) Nice Hub. Interesting topic -- the whole dynamic of gift-giving. Some years ago my family decided that at Christmas we would give each other cards, and food-type gifts (jams, jellies, spicy mustard, cookies, etc) that we made ourselves (under five dollars).
It has worked very well as most of us have too much "stuff" anyway. We all make a charitable donation of some sort and focus on the real celebration, the Light of the World.
As an unexpected side-result, I have noticed that we all seem to be more sensitive about and have become quicker to help out with financial needs/crises that occur within the family throughout the year....major medical or car repair expenses, etc.
An early Blessed Christmas to you and yours. Theresa
Thanks Alastar,
I dressed up as a Santa a couple of times in the past and scared the bejesus out of the kids. They ran away screaming. Your Mom sounds like a very smart woman.
Knowledge is power, they say.
I felt that a better understanding of the gift ritual would make people feel not so freaked out every year.
It does drive some people to get into serious debt as they compete to get 'the right gift'.
Pretty sad really.
Glad you found it useful, interesting and funny. That to me is the definition of success.
Thanks Alastar and have a great holiday season.
Molometer I noticed if you cover up the top half of the red-suited Santa the bottom half looks like he could be a scarlet skinned ogre. Oh well, gotta be a good guy offering us a friendly coke. Believe the islanders are on to something with the stone giving. My mom has solved the prob by declaring NO gifts at Christmas time but some of the girls just can't help themselves. Speaking of help, that's what you've done by writing on the psychology of gift-giving here. I understand it better now. So, for a present I'll give you an interesting and funny!
Cheers weestro, or should that be Bah! Humbug lol
seasons greetings none the less.
I think many will agree with you molometer, Great job on a very well written Hub!
Bah Humbug!
Thanks Eiddwen,
Seasons greetings and glad you liked it.
Brilliant and thanks for sharing.
Take care,
Eddy.
20 days to D-Day and the anxiety is building daily :)
You make several good points here?
It is a difficult time for many.
Very sensible and environmental friendly too, Jen.
No trees sacrificed for wrapping paper.
Apparently Rocks are trending on Google lol
wait I take back the wrapping paper, Eugene would not want such waste on the simplicity of his mindful insight.
Ha ha ha
Brilliant one Jen,
APMSL truly.
I forgot about the wrapping paper lol
Collecting rocks: 0 dollars
gift wrap: 5.00 dollars
The look on their face after receiving The incredible magical venting rock Eugene: priceless....
Nice to have just a little sanity at this time of the year!
Hi mary615,
my sentiments exactly. well said. Goodnight Mary.
My sentiments exactly! I hate to sound like Scrooge, but that's the truth! Goodnight.
I want pictures Jen as evidence.lol
I will too just for the craic!
LOL,LOL,
Now that is funny. That's it, I'm doing it.
Hi Poshcoffee,
I hear it's 'grim' oop north lol
I am originally from London and so anywhere past Watford for me is oop north.lol
Posh are doing well aren't they? I don't really follow football.
I used to follow West Ham, that probably explains why I don't follow football anymore. lol
Hi Amy,
A collective sigh of relief, I am sure is released on Boxing day.
Here's Hoping you and everyone else has a peaceful,pleasant and guilt free Christmas.
You guessed molometer.Been living in Peterborough 13 years but am from oop north.
Unemployment has taken me out of the anxiety. When I was working, I spent far too much time trying to please everyone I knew...and never really felt like I succeeded. Now I am relieved to know I need no excuses and feel no guilt. News coverage of "Black Friday" is all I need to see that consumerism overrides the spirit of Christmas. Spare me that kind of generosity. I'll give and take a kind gesture any day of the year.
Hello Millionaire Tips can I call you MT lol
Yes of course your are right, the more we try to rationalize it the more complex it becomes.
Humans hey! what are we gonna do with 'em?
Merry Christmas
Cheers poshcoffeeco, I just added 2 and 2 together, are you by any chance a Peterborough FC fan? The Posh bit gave me a clue lol
Yep looks like we are neighbors. Howdy partner. lol
The commercial aspect of Christmas has gone too far now. Let's not forget that it is for children. This year more and more people than ever are making their own gifts as the recession bites deeper into what savings there were. Whatever we give and receive we should remember it is the thought that counts.
Hey molometer, just realised you live in my own county of Cambridgeshire. How about that!
Ooh by the way....voted up / interesting ( Happy Xmas)
Hi learntolive,
Any fan of the Marx Brothers, is automatically by default my best buddy.
To appreciate the genius of these wonderful men, shows insight and terrific understanding of the human condition.
Glad you liked the hub and your right it is sadly all to true. But isn't it liberating just knowing that?
Hello Sunnie Day,
I love the way you have your sanity clause hat on at a jaunty tilt, you look fabulous.
I agree it can be the most bonkers time of the year.
I remember when my 3 kids were young and everyone had bought them presents. My wife and I come from big families so the lounge was 50% full of presents. Literally stuffed.
The kids came down on Christmas day ripped all the presents apart and spent the next 4 hours playing with the cardboard boxes?
We all learned a valuable lesson that year. Let children use their imagination. It's priceless.
Have a great Christmas Sunnie and hope you really enjoy having your family around and all together in one place.
Cheers. Michael
ha ha Jen you crack me up 'create a whole bogus story about the stone, really drag it out'
I love it.
And if we push it, think about this as a scene from a movie.
Jane: 'So what did you get for Christmas?
Loanne: 'I got a whole bucket of pebbles'
Jane not wanting to be outdone comes back with.
'Actually I got a lovely chunk of Quartz'
Swelling Music as the Titles scroll up the screen.
Stone Wars Episode 1
lol
Hi hush4444,
I hadn't thought of that myself either, come to think of it, do you remember the 'pet rock' craze a few years back?
Where you could buy a rock in a box. Bonkers or what? lol
Gift giving and receiving is certainly complicated - and trying to come up with solutions, like drawing names or limiting to certain dollar amounts, or children only, or whatever, actually tends to make things even more complicated.
Great hub, I totally agree. Also, I think that the excerpt you chose is one of the most classic Marx Brothers scenes of all time. I haven't seen them in a while :) This hub is amazing and amusing and sadly, all too true.
Thank you!! Awesome, did vote up all the way, not because for Christmas but because I completely agree! From Halloween to March I loathe the media. Xmas all the way to Valentines day really annoys and frustrates me.
I think the stone idea is great, you could create a whole bogus story about the stone, really drag it out, and as the receiver not wanting to look like a selfish bigot, will accept the gift and may feel a tiny tinge of guilt for trying to out gift you.
This was great, once again Mike
Dear Molometer what a thought provoking, wonderful hub! It truly can get out of hand and has many times..I seemed to dread it as well but this year I purposed it in my heart to not go there..I dont know I just wanted to be happy and enjoy..All my kids are coming..the first that we will be together in many years due to my son in the Army..anyway..I look forward to the laughter and watching my little granddaughters opening their gifts on Christmas morning..Maybe next Christmas I will fall back into the same feelings I have had and so agree with what you have said but this Christmas I put on my Santa hat and am going to embrace it with all my heart..The birth of Christ and the love of family..All the rest of the stuff can ...well...you know...Stones..why did I not think about that..shoot..could have saved a few dollars..
God bless and thanks again,
Sunnie
You gave me a great idea - everyone is getting stones this year! I already live on an island...
I agree, Christmas gift giving is way out of hand, especially in these economic times. Voted up - Merry Christmas!
molometer Hub Author 3 months ago
Thanks Cindy, that is a great idea and is a more thoughtful present altogether.